Hello beloved brothers, lately I feel a lot of anguish in my heart. I spent years away from God, I really felt His presence but over time I no longer did. Although I am on the way back and want to be restored, it is difficult. I often have many nightmares when I sleep or experience sleep paralysis or sudden fear, and just when I want to get closer to God, I've been like this for about a year now, and what I want most is for all this to end and to return to my first love, which is Christ! Sometimes I wonder if I have done something irreversible or so bad that there is no longer hope, but I continue to long to draw closer to God again. 😞