The amount of romance stories I see and read increases my hope that my future husband is out there, and yet I still am clueless about how men view me. I can never tell either they're laughing at me, or disgusted, or don't think I'm worth being attracted to. I know only God knows the minds and hearts of all people; I wish I knew men's thoughts when they see me. Because I spent most of my life thinking guys hated me. Sometimes I still think that and I don't even know them. So when I see men smirk I never know if it's out of cruelty, or they said something bad about me as I walk by and laughed about it. Similar how it was in high school which I hated. I wish men knew how the way they look at us affects just as much as words.