Whenever I try to put my feelings and thoughts into words I fall short. I constantly search for an answer that soothes my anxious heart. I ask God why I feel this way…why they left, why my dreams fell apart.
Every repeated cycle shows me the chains I put myself in. These chains have already been broken through Christ, why do I go back? I go back to selvage anything I can take with me when God has told me to let go. Deep down I know there’s nothing here for me anymore but I stay and try to make it work. I convince myself God is just teaching me a lesson of perseverance when the season has ended. It’s difficult to come to terms with the reality that what worked then no longer serves you. I am not sure what to do or where to go , but I know I can not stay circling around waiting for something that God wants me to release.