It is normal to feel sorry for past sins and to seek Gods forgiveness. Conviction by the Holy Spirit is normal. Though, God will never make you feel condemned or ashamed beyond repair because of your sin. That is from the enemy. As Christians we all fall short no matter how well our walks are with Christ; we are not perfect—we are still human. God is not seeking a super Christian with perfect performance, he wants a humble servant with a surrendered and faithful heart. Turn back to God, he is not mad at you. He just wants you, nothing else. In fact, God is chasing you this exact moment, come back home. You may feel overwhelming shame, buts Gods grace and mercy is more powerful. Rest in your father’s love, he’s not ashamed of you. God bless you, sister.