Hi guys I’m a 17 year old girl and I’m having a hard time with my spiritual being I can’t feel the presence of God and I sometimes don’t have the energy to read my bible I feel like I’m still sinning and God has removed himself from me I do pray everyday I once tried to meditate but I couldn’t I want to hear the voice of Jesus so bad but I can’t I feel like I worship god out of emotions I want to get right with him but I feel like I can’t love him I want to work hard in my spiritual life and my educational life but educationally I’m depressed and struggling I want to surrender all to him but i don’t know how cause I say it with my mouth that I surrender all to God but I still feel like I didn’t I want to know how it feels to love God and to surrender to him I just hate seeking validation from other people and trying to impress them I hate laughing at other people I hate gossip I want to stop all of it but it still comes to me. I also suffer with my parents I don’t mean to be rude to my parents especially my mom but they like blaming me for things I didn’t do so it gets on my nerves pls how can I fix everything how can I be saved when it’s judgement I want to be right with God