Hi! I’ve never posted here before but I desperately need help. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Could someone please pray for me?

I keep getting these horrible, awful intrusive thoughts I can’t even name or place that tell me I’m not a “true” and “genuine” believer and born again believer and that I don’t have true faith and believe in God/Jesus and am not saved somehow. Basically thoughts telling me I never truly believed or that I was somehow created to not belong to God/Jesus or that I’m not His child and that terrifies me so much!!

It could be OCD, but I don’t know! I don’t know what the problem is and I wish I knew! And I’m terrified what God/Jesus thinks of me then and I just want and need to be His now and forever and ever eternally and I’m terrified to die and just want to be His child/daughter now and forever! I’m terrified my longing is fake and that I’m not His and I’m terrified then what He thinks of me!

And I’ll constantly use online stuff and ai for reassurance over and over and over and I don’t want to put anything above Him and then I’m scared I’m trying to get answers from something else and not from God/Jesus!! But what I ask it is like for reassurance about being His and saved and just a list of stuff reminding me I belong to Him or reassuring me my belief and faith is genuine and that He’s chosen me and I’m His. Though then I’m terrified I’m somehow trying to speak for God and I’m so scared I just need to be His! And I just want and need everything to be ok forever and I’m scared to die and just need an intimate, loving, personal relationship with Him now and forever!

Sorry for the messy post I’m horrible at getting my thoughts together. Thank you so much.