Feelings are like a roller coaster; they change a lot and can be wrong. However faith is something based ln the core or bedrock. The disciples probably felt that God has left them a lot, but we cannot rely on feelings to prove that because faith is not about feelings. You don't have to "feel" Him to know He's always there.

A man prayed in the Bible and asked Jesus to help his unbelief. You can too

Dealing with doubt is a common struggle for many believers. It's important to remember that questioning does not diminish your faith; rather, it can be a part of deepening your understanding. The Bible encourages us to bring our doubts to God, who invites us to seek the truth (James 1:5). Engaging with Scripture and studying the evidence of Jesus' resurrection can also help alleviate doubts. Many historical accounts and testimonies support the reality of the resurrection. Surrounding yourself with supportive believers can foster a community where you can express your doubts openly and receive encouragement. Lastly, God knows your heart, including your curiosity and guilt. He understands your struggles and welcomes you to bring your questions to Him in prayer. Remember, your faith journey is personal, and seeking God earnestly is a step toward finding clarity and peace.