Summary: I am tired, sad, distressed, I want to give up, I don't know if the girl I like really likes me (she has already said she likes me), I cry in secret many times, I have no reason to be here, I feel abandoned and many other things that I don't know how to express here.
I need help.. This year, I realized I am much more tired and sad... I have been struggling with temptation and the sin of lust, and I have always been asking God to help me break free from these habits that have been harming me, but... nothing has changed since then, I have only become more tired, sadder, more distressed, with less hope... Just yesterday I tried to sleep at 10 PM, and I ended up thinking too much about too many things, yes I prayed, and only fell asleep at midnight.
Not only that... I have been thinking: "Does the girl I like really like me?" She has already told me she likes me, but I don't know, many things have happened, she is basically one of the only reasons I get out of bed and go to school, God is my first motivation... ? I don't know anything anymore.
I have prayed a lot for God to help me, to give me strength to continue, encouragement, motivation to keep going, to help me get out of these bad habits, every single day. I need God's help, I have distanced myself so much from Him, but I need to return to Him, I have been trying hard. I have never talked so much about these things to my parents or my friends.
Just today I ended up losing points in the school activity we had, it was a debate, I was already so down, so tired, that I couldn't even say a single word. I am tired, exhausted, with no hope, no reason to live, distressed, and I think: "Should I continue and wait longer?".
Well, there are many things I can't express and write here at the moment, but I just wish for something that would calm me, help me, give me a reason to continue, give me strength, give me hope that everything will have a good ending, that all this anguish will end...
If someone read all of this, I thank you very much... I don't think many people will want to read all of this, nor will they have time for it... I just want to receive help, just as I have helped others throughout my life... I just want to rest, have a place to stay and not have to suffer in this place, I want to be happy, I don't want to worry anyone, that's why I haven't told all of this to anyone.
May God bless your lives with all His love.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
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