I was waiting for something for 8 years that didnt arrived and on the 8th year of waiting for the thing i prayed hard,word hard, cried all those years I need to do the 1st step again I feel like i lose years of my youth , the important people around me that supports me on this journey my cousin died who was my bestfriend in 2020 , lost my grandma on 2022, my aunt this year 2026 and few days apart i lose my grandma again .. I started the this dream year 2018 while I have those people around me bt now they are gone and I am back in step 1 of the dream.. Am i wondering is my way of praying wrong? did my prayer reach GOD or does GOD hate me for my sins ? I never forget to thank GOD for everything and worship him in everything I do . I wanted to have a family and a child I had my ldr boyfriend for 6 years we never met yet and I think cuz of my age it will be not safe for us to have a kid soon when we meet.. While in waiting season also i see my parents getting old not as healthy as before as much as I wanted to elevate our life to make them see my dreams are slowly happening I feel that all my hard words arent paid off , blessing are running away from me. I also dont understand how i feel right now sometimes i smile but when night strikes I fel asleep thinking about future and waking up unmotivated and tired. Please pray for me.