Hello brothers and sisters in Christ sorry for bothering you I really need your help 😪 please if any of you have an advised or idea about what I'm about to say he should kindly share with me!!

So ... My life with Jesus was good but when I see others people life I will somehow becomes jealous and that will make me think that I have improved to be perfect not knowing perfection won't earn me anything but a 😪hmmm a biggest regret. I researched about all sins so I can avoid them then I came across the "unforgivable sin" when I first saw it the first thing that came into my mind is that did I commit it? I researched all night for examples of them and I realized I haven't I was like "why I'm I worrying myself I can never do such thing" then a week after I started having thoughts speaking I'll of Christ 😪those thoughts scares me I thought that was it for me but I got to know that was forgivable and I had a relief then it came to the most terrifying part attributing God's work to Satan saying Satan heals, Satan protects even though I shake my head shout to resist these thoughts they still scares me and even because of this I will always repeat the sentence" Jesus heals" all the day then another one saying God is evil, the holy Spirit is evil, again I was scared so I came up with idea if Satan will keep on throwing these thoughts then I will create a new name for the holy Spirit called "evil spirit hater" and when I read the Bible that's what the Pharisee said about Jesus holy Spirit 😪and Jesus said it's unforgivable 😪those thoughts rest for a while but I deliberately thought about it again.... I'm scared I've committed the unforgivable sin because even when I'm praying, talking, in sleep, and also one thing I have sexual thoughts about Christ 😪I'm even ashamed now I live in fear, doubt , overthinking, I feel empty no conviction I try to do everything I can but still no transformation did I commit the unforgivable sin?