My relationship of Jesus has been so unbelievably bad the I'm left with nothing but the fear of hell I know all the verse but nothing helps I don't put in the effort I'm hopelessly addicted the pornography I have no hope no joy All that is left is the fear of judgement day every single loud sound that happens makes me physically jump and panic

i wish that I could go back and prevent myself for being born so that there was no heaven or hell for me I must be about the only Christian if you can even call me that that hopes Christianity isn't true

I used to be happy optimistic and loving now I've got nothing but anger hatreds spike bitterness fear misery Everything is sinful and evil Everything I hate but is a part of me that just wants to keep on saying that loves it