Hi, I'm lost, I've been lost for a long time. But something has been calling to me, almost like a familiar embrace trying to get me to recognize it.
I've looked, searched, trying to find something I resonate with to help me in understanding why I'm here. 2 decades of feeling like I don't even belong in this realm, but feeling like I'm here for a reason.
I was raised loosely Christian in that I was taught the Bible and learned child versions of who Jesus was, what God's intentions were. It was taught to me in a way that felt forced and I felt compelled to rebel against that. After the age of 10 I purposely pushed God to the side, indulging in science. I love space, I love prehistoric earth, I love biological, physical theories and answers. But still inside me there is something or someone telling me that that's not all to life.
I'm on the wrong path, I want to submit to my feelings of rebellion and denial and seek truth from a community that will understand, not judge and help me follow the path I feel is being handed to me yet cannot quite grasp. I want to learn more about the Bible, about God, Jesus, and why he's always been a strong presence in my life when I have pushed him away mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Thank you if you took the time to read.