Hello, I'm Bella, 15 years old. When I was young I was so close to God, I felt a deep connection. I was reading bible comics that really helped my young mind get closer to Him. I even remember kneeling and crying, praying for God to heal my brother. I remembered weeping because of what Jesus Christ had gone through. That's how much faith I had for him. Then, I got a phone and came across a post that sent fear through me, I was afraid that I lost that connection with Him. Mind you that was even before the pandemic so I spent the rest of the years away from Him. It was so distant, I was having a hard time believing in Him again, and I fell on sins. I'm a sinner by nature. When the pandemic struck, I was 9 or 10 by the time. And Christians started to spread the word of God using TikTok. I was afraid because I believed that He's coming soon and I would be sent straight to hell. So I started believing in Him again, but without heart. It was through fear. It wasn't genuine, I wasn't forming a genuine relationship with Him. So I gave it up. I continued living my life, and I was happy with what the world offered. I'm still a believer, but I wasn't a follower. Now, in 2025, I'm starting to grow my faith again. There's doubts, a lot of it. I wanted my connection and relation with Him to be genuine. My mind is my greatest opponent and my heart always tries to deceive me. When it feels like they're winning, God would send me messages through different people. I wanted to be a follower, but I'm still ashamed because of my past. I'm scared of what the crowd would think knowing that I was and still am a sinner. I wanted to live like Jesus Christ, but it was hard, I'm ashamed to show the world how much I love Him.